The Wrestling Episode is our cleverly-named characteristic whereby we watch non-wrestling exhibits with wrestling episodes and check out to determine what the hell’s occurring in them. You’d be stunned what number of there are. You’ll be able to watch the episode on YouTube right here. In case you have any ideas on exhibits that must be featured in The Wrestling Episode, tell us in our feedback part beneath.

I’ve By no means Heard Of Roseanne. What Is It?

Again within the early 1980s, a runaway from Salt Lake Metropolis did so effectively for herself on the comedy scene as a “working-class home goddess” that she was supplied the function of Peg Bundy on Married … With Kids. She turned that down, and the chief producers of The Cosby Present gave her her personal present: Roseanne, an unconventional, down-to-earth sitcom that related with TV audiences by faithfully recreating what it’s wish to be poor, barely educated and overwhelmed down by life and household in white-bread, middle-class Center America.

Anchored by Roseanne Barr’s stand-up, John Goodman’s supernatural likeability and Emmy Award steamroller Laurie Metcalf, Roseanne ran for eight profitable seasons plus one miserably terrible yr of fan fiction and was at one level the best rated sitcom on tv. It just lately got here again after a 20+ yr hiatus to monster scores and many actually regarding shit on the Web. We’re gonna stick with traditional Roseanne right here, if that’s all proper.

And There’s A Wrestling Episode?

There may be! And Roseanne herself is barely in it!

Does It Occur Within the Good Seasons Or That Unhealthy One

The dangerous one. And deep into the dangerous one, too. We’re speaking 20 episodes in, with solely two episodes between it and the sequence finale. Buckle in!


A few notes earlier than we start:

  • For those who aren’t acquainted with the present and are questioning concerning the “dangerous” season, principally Roseanne received actually wealthy and well-known in actual life and determined to show her present about regular folks residing regular lives into an absurdist romp the place she wins $108 million within the lottery, hangs out with celebrities and battles terrorists on a hijacked prepare. None of that may be a joke.
  • season 9 additionally changed the sax intro with Blues Traveler in a really mid-1990s transfer
  • The episode known as ‘Roseanne-Feld,’ like Seinfeld, for no cause. It’s not a Seinfeld parody, nothing Seinfeld-like occurs. They’d just about simply given up already.

Roseanne’s son-in-law Mark, notable for eloping with oldest daughter Becky and ruining her life so badly she actually turned one other particular person, has tickets to “Championship Wrestling” on the Lanford Armory. Whereas nothing else concerning the wrestling present finally ends up being very correct, shout-out to the Roseanne writers for placing a neighborhood Illinois wrestling occasion in an correct venue. Most exhibits are like, “we’re gonna go all the way down to the wrestling area tonight!” It was in all probability Roseanne herself, if these tweets about New Japan Professional Wrestling say something.

Anyway, everybody else has plans and his spouse thinks wrestling is silly so he finally ends up taking Roseanne’s sister Jackie. Jackie is Laurie Metcalf, who’s constantly the perfect a part of the present and who simply final yr received nominated for an Academy Award and gained 24 performing awards for Woman Hen. Heads up: she is aware of it is a dangerous episode, which we’ll get to in a minute.


Championship Wrestling seems to be a ladies’s promotion — the “Fabulous Girls of Wrestling,” or FLOW, which at the least isn’t “BLOW” — with a bizarre fan participation angle. As a result of like a suspicious quantity of wrestling episodes we cowl on this column, present writers need their characters to wrestle whether or not it is sensible or not. In line with Mark, you “fill out a card, they usually decide a distinct viewers member each week” to get within the ring in the course of a match and struggle the wrestlers, and that he’s crammed out playing cards for each of them.

Would I Acknowledge Any Of The Wrestlers?


Possibly? The babyface right here is ‘Cincinnati Patti,’ performed by Spice Williams, who performed ‘Honey Bee’ within the wrestling episode of Mama’s Household and ‘Battery’ of ‘Assault and Battery’ within the wrestling episode of Step By Step. Critically, that girl received a decade-plus of featured tv work by handing each superstar she met her card and saying, “would you love to do a professional wrestling episode of no matter you do?”

The heel, who Mark desires to get into the ring and struggle each week however by no means will get the possibility to, is ‘Black Widow.’ She’s performed by 15-time world arm wrestling champion Dot Jones, who you would possibly acknowledge as Coach Beiste from Glee. Mark heckles her by calling her a pig, so she threatens to tear his head off his shoulders and pull his lungs out by means of his shoulders. Pure sports activities construct!

Mark’s title will get introduced and he will get hype to … struggle this lady for actual, I don’t know the way it works, nevertheless it seems he simply has a telephone name. As a result of sure, you may name wrestling occasions they usually’ll announce the decision over the loudspeaker in the course of the match.

Possibly It Was Necessary?


Nicely yeah, they assume it’s a name from the hospital (as a result of Roseanne’s daughter Darlene was having a child prematurely, and no one was positive whether or not or not it might survive), nevertheless it’s … not that. The alternative of that. We’ll get to that on the finish.

Whereas they’re taking the decision, they hear the announcement of the raffle winner: it’s Jackie, and he or she’ll need to step into the ring with the Black Widow and Cincinnati Patti. Bear in mind earlier once I instructed you Laurie Metcalf knew this was a foul episode? That is her response to the information:


That’s someplace between Maria’s response to Dolph Ziggler dumping her and the Italian Spider-Man face.

Does Jackie Win The Match With The Metcalf Crusher?

No, however that’s an excellent joke.


Regardless of having been a police officer and presumably having some fight coaching, Jackie’s instantly airplane spun and dropped with a Wade Barrett WASTELAND by Black Widow. Additionally you’ll discover that now there are extra wrestlers within the ring for some cause — try what Patti’s doing on the apron — so I suppose perhaps it’s a Royal Rumble type factor the place one of many shock entrants is a fan?

Whatever the guidelines, Mark tries to get into the ring anyway and hold Jackie from being dog-piled by the entire wrestlers. It doesn’t assist, and Jackie lies on the bottom making wacky faces till we fade out.


The subsequent time we see Jackie she’s received a black eye, and for some cause has invited Black Widow into Roseanne’s home to have a dialog about whether or not or not wrestling’s pretend. Widow confirms that it’s pretend for “guys like Rowdy Roddy Piper,” however when ladies struggle, it’s for actual. I hope Vince Russo received a writing credit score on this episode.

Mark decides to show his manhood by taking over Black Widow in an arm wrestling match, and he or she has sympathy on him for being an everyday on the exhibits and a complete mark (cough) and lets him win. Then Roseanne herself exhibits up for her end-of-episode cameo, acknowledges Black Widow and appears to be about to shoot defeat her at arm wrestling because the episode ends.


Why? As a result of that is Roseanne’s present within the ninth season and if she desires to shit golden bricks, ABC’s gonna bend over sideways to make it occur. Gotta make Roseanne look robust!

Is That It?


I used to be going to say the wrestling stuff was the B-story, however the episode’s actually nothing however B-stories. The main plot (for those who can name it that) are Roseanne’s homosexual associates Fred Willard and Martin Mull, who appears to be like just like the blue states Jeff Foxworthy, assembly Roseanne’s mother’s new girlfriend, who they anticipate to be embarrassing. However wait, it seems it’s a lounge singer they like from a restaurant above the Lanford Vacation Inn, they usually have a very good time! That’s … that’s your complete story.

The opposite plot revolves round Roseanne’s youngest son DJ and his quest to have intercourse together with his girlfriend by taking her to see the particular version of Return of the Jedi. Jedi Rocks is an actual aphrodisiac. The date’s why he can’t go along with Mark to see Championship Wrestling, and Mark presents him a condom in case he seals the deal. DJ turns it down pondering he gained’t get anyplace close to residence plate, so then it seems he’s completely about to and has to name Mark on the present to get it. I instructed you that decision wasn’t “dying child” necessary.

Mark’s busy, so he tells DJ to go look in his dad’s sock drawer, as a result of that’s the place he and Becky used to attain rubbers. DJ rushes upstairs and digs by means of the drawer however solely finds Ho Hos snack truffles and, oddly, an autographed picture of Julie Newmar. It’s signed “thanks for every part,” due to course it’s. A upset DJ goes again downstairs and his girlfriend’s like, “hey, for future reference I’ve condoms, however I don’t really feel like having intercourse now as a result of shit’s bizarre.” DJ agrees, sees her out, after which breaks the fourth wall to alert us that he’s about to jack it to his dad’s Batman 66 spank financial institution.


So What Have We Discovered?

  • I nonetheless miss Doyle from Angel quite a bit
  • if you wish to have intercourse together with your girlfriend and don’t have a condom, ask her if she has one, as a result of she would possibly
  • homosexual individuals are typically very enjoyable to hang around with
  • for those who’re a personality on a tv present, don’t received to a neighborhood wrestling occasion, they’re gonna attempt to get you to wrestle
  • Roseanne is the bodily strongest character within the Roseanne cinematic universe

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