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The People Nervousness Report is a weekly rundown of the folks and issues we’re at the moment most fearful about on the present. It’ll get bizarre, as a result of lots of the folks and issues we will probably be worrying about will probably be instruments in a plot to smash America, put in movement by one other nation. Blame the present for this, not us.

10. Henry (Final week: 9)

There was nothing particular this week to make us fear about Henry. He appears fairly completely satisfied off at his faculty, enjoying hockey and juggling his fan membership and accurately mentioning that his father usually sounds/appears like he would possibly leap out a window. No, that is only a baseline anxiousness. It’ll take lots to bump Henry off this record. I identical to him lots and he looks like a standard child and I don’t want what is occurring to Paige to occur to him. We should maintain him protected. We should defend Henry in any respect prices.

9. Oleg (Final week: 1)

Quiet week for Oleg and his cool new beard. One assumes he’s very busy along with his city transport planning class at George Mason. Do you guys suppose Oleg is an efficient scholar? I can’t resolve. On one hand, he’s a vivid man and has at all times been fairly devoted to no matter job is in entrance of him, albeit somewhat free cannon-y. Then again, he at all times sits with this relaxed cool man posture like the preferred child in highschool and he did have that sick leather-based jacket final season, so I may additionally see him, like, sitting within the again row leaning his chair again on two legs and laughing as a result of the trainer obtained a chalk define from the eraser on the butt of his grey pants and doesn’t notice it but.

We’ll want extra info.

eight. Mail Robotic (Final week: Unranked)

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I’ll start with an apology. I ought to have put Mail Robotic on the record final week. We didn’t see it in any respect and three years handed between seasons and it wouldn’t have been outlandish to imagine that the longer term had come for our beloved automated inter-office supply system. I’m unsure how I’d have dealt with it if there was some smooth new model rolling by means of the halls. I don’t suppose I’d have favored it.

And that’s the factor. Mail Robotic might be on borrowed time as it’s. It’s 1987, for the love of God. We’ll need to say goodbye for good finally, on display or off, and I’m not totally certain I’m prepared for it. Possibly they’ll ship it to a pleasant farm upstate with numerous room to scoot round and ship letters to loving households close by.

7. Stan (Final week: 6)

Stan is completely satisfied searching drug sellers and murderers and I’m completely satisfied for him. This enterprise with the bickering Russian couriers and their funky lavatory hijinks can’t be good, although, each as a result of their look most likely means one thing will go flawed there and since you by no means need to get in the midst of a bickering couple. An excessive amount of stress, no upside.

6. Tchaikovsky (Final week: Unranked)

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Retroactively fearful about younger Tchaikovsky.

5. The workers at Philip’s journey company (Final week: four)

Simply as the longer term is coming for Mail Robotic, the longer term is coming for journey brokers. Philip gained’t have to fret, most likely, as a result of he’ll be useless or in jail by the point the Web and its fast and straightforward funds journey websites take over the trade. (So he’s obtained that going for him.) However the remainder of them, Stavos included, are gonna want a backup plan. I can go to San Diego on my own, thanks.

what I’m simply now realizing? Henry is a pc and math whiz. His dad is within the journey trade. Possibly that’s a factor. He can pitch it to Donna’s outdated agency from Halt and Catch Hearth. Possibly Boz may help. Henry and Boz. I’d watch that.

four. Philip (Final week: 5)

Hey, let’s test in with Phi-..

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Ahh. Proper.

three. Elizabeth (Final week: 2)

Two sides to this coin.

SIDE ONE: Elizabeth is fried, man. She’s smoking cigarettes and searching frazzled and attempting to steadiness like eight cowl identities without delay, along with doing secret nuclear issues that require her to put on a suicide capsule round her neck always. She’s not getting sufficient assist or assist and the factor she mentioned final season to Tuan concerning the significance of getting somebody to work with is beginning to look much less like recommendation and extra like a prophecy. She will’t go on like this. She’ll both get killed or simply scream into the void till she vibrates quick sufficient to show right into a shortly spreading cloud of molecules. Woman wants a break.

SIDE TWO: Screw Elizabeth. She’s strong-arming belongings and mendacity to Paige concerning the life she’s pushing her into and he or she’s mainly going to torture the negotiator’s sick spouse till after the summit, which is unhealthy. A good quantity of the issues folks have on the present could possibly be solved by eradicating her from the scenario. Though I suppose Claudia would nonetheless practice Paige. And if Philip is gloomy now, hoo boy, think about that frowning catastrophe. And Henry could be bummed. We will’t have that. So there aren’t any good solutions right here.

Some nice wigs this week, although. Gotta give her that.

2. Anybody who goes into the woods, ever, even as soon as (Final week: Unranked)

One of many solely issues I do know for sure on this life is that nothing good has ever occurred within the woods. The woods are unhealthy. If somebody says to you “Hey, let’s go into these woods over there for a minute,” you say no, as a result of both a) that individual goes to homicide you, or b) somebody or one thing goes to homicide you each. In truth, simply lower that individual out of your life, to be protected. You possibly can’t be placing your life in danger by hanging out with an individual who suggests going into the woods! You could have such a vivid future!

Anyway, for this reason, as quickly as Elizabeth and the army man went into these woods, I used to be like “Properly, relaxation in peace, bud,” as a result of it’s too quickly within the season for Elizabeth to die and there was no means each of them have been popping out alive.

Don’t go into the woods.

By no means go into the woods.

1. Paige (Final week: three)

There are some issues in life you’ll be able to’t unsee, issues that burn themselves into your mind and hang-out you for the remainder of your life. I’ve obtained to think about “your mother’s panicked face coated in a person’s brains” is a kind of issues. Even when the whole lot someway works out okay for Paige (it gained’t), like she escapes her household and testifies towards them and writes a bestselling collection of loosely fictionalized spy novels and makes use of the royalties to retire to St. Barth’s in her early 30s, she’ll nonetheless get up in a sweat like 50 nights a 12 months with that picture sharp as a scythe in her thoughts. Paige is damaged now. It’s not nice.

Additionally, and that is admittedly a a lot smaller drawback within the grand scheme of issues, however nonetheless one price noting, if she ever has children they usually see an image of her from this time interval, she’s gonna have to elucidate these pants. Additionally not nice.

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